It takes two to tango, two hands to clap - unless you are a Zen master. And it takes two to conduct a dialogue.
I started the car and we made our way down the narrow spiral ramp down the car park in silence, negotiating the curves with practiced ease.
While we waited at the first lights, I sighed - Its not like you are a real person.
There was a pause and he said - You are talking to me. And you seem to think I am a he.
You can read my thoughts, now?
Thoughts/ speech, same thing.
That's spooky, I said. He didn't reply.
I zipped through the second lights and cut off an opportunist trying to slip in.
Nicely done, he commented.
Thanks, I said.
We picked up speed effortlessly passing an Audi, who tried their best to pass us on the outside into the slip road. Shamefaced, the Audi slowed down and turned on their indicator, asking to be let in. We both smiled smugly.
On the motorway, watching for cars pulling in suddenly and watching the speed, we continued in silence, each wrapped in our own thoughts.
The boy thinks you are an eye sore, I said.
He smiled grimly.
I own up, I said, it was my fault, entirely.
Sorry?
That once when I scraped the side against the wall, and.. the other time when I bumped into the barrier. Nothing major, but.... I left the words hanging
Things happen, he said. We both nodded sagely, and thought of those days.
You still work really well... I said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic. I would have to break the news soon, gently or otherwise.
Remember that long trip? I said, It was a long, hard drive. No problems.
843, he said.
What?
843 miles, totally. 892 if you add the mileage off the motorway.
That was.... Very precise..
Thanks.
You never complained, I said.
Pardon?
About me not offering to fix those scratches, I should have made an effort, at least..
Oh that. That's OK.
I wish you would be a bit more human, you know, show some anger.
Human? That's rich, coming from you.
Oooh! Some character at last, I teased.
Well, you asked for it didn't you?
I certainly did, I agreed.
You weren't entirely lacking in affection, he said. There was an embarrassing pause, like it always happens when two blokes talk about emotions.
After a while, I said, weren't?
For a moment he looked puzzled, then he said. Oh, you mean the past tense...
Yes, I said, a little uneasily
He sighed, look, I know.
Know?
I can read your thoughts, remember?
I am sorry, I said, miserably.
I slipped own a gear, missed the bite and the gears crashed.
Ouch! He said. We both laughed.
Don't feel bad, I understand perfectly. He said. Thanks for taking trouble to let me know.
You know, I said, again, I wish you wouldn't be so saintly about this.
Would you rather I threw a hissy fit, and broke down now? We both smiled.
Silence followed, with me concentrating on finding a gap in the traffic to drive across.
After a while, he asked, a bit hesitatingly, When?
Today, I said. He nodded.
What are you getting, um..in exchange?
A CRV Honda I said, trying hard to keep the excitement out of my voice.
Ah... An upgrade.
Yes, I said, trying not to look at him.
He fell silent again and didn't say a word. I reached home, showered and got back in to drive to the garage with junior in tow. We drove in silence and reached the garage. I switched off, and looked around the glove compartment to see if I had left anything back. It was empty. Check the boot, he reminded. His voice made me start. I checked, that was empty too. I sat down, one last time in the driver seat and looked through the windscreen. I held the steering wheel, and let my elbow rest in the dent on the arm rest. It fitted perfectly.
I stepped out, closed the door shut and hurried after junior into the garage. The Salesman talked and pointed out the features of the new car, and junior listened in rapt attention. Demonstration done, he handed me the keys, shook my hand and stepped back. I sat in, and drove on, surrounded by gleaming dials, comfortable in my upholstered seat. There was no dent in the arm rest, and the gears fell in smoothly.
Rest in peace, Honda Civic. old, dented, scratched. Never forgotten.
I started the car and we made our way down the narrow spiral ramp down the car park in silence, negotiating the curves with practiced ease.
While we waited at the first lights, I sighed - Its not like you are a real person.
There was a pause and he said - You are talking to me. And you seem to think I am a he.
You can read my thoughts, now?
Thoughts/ speech, same thing.
That's spooky, I said. He didn't reply.
I zipped through the second lights and cut off an opportunist trying to slip in.
Nicely done, he commented.
Thanks, I said.
We picked up speed effortlessly passing an Audi, who tried their best to pass us on the outside into the slip road. Shamefaced, the Audi slowed down and turned on their indicator, asking to be let in. We both smiled smugly.
On the motorway, watching for cars pulling in suddenly and watching the speed, we continued in silence, each wrapped in our own thoughts.
The boy thinks you are an eye sore, I said.
He smiled grimly.
I own up, I said, it was my fault, entirely.
Sorry?
That once when I scraped the side against the wall, and.. the other time when I bumped into the barrier. Nothing major, but.... I left the words hanging
Things happen, he said. We both nodded sagely, and thought of those days.
You still work really well... I said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic. I would have to break the news soon, gently or otherwise.
Remember that long trip? I said, It was a long, hard drive. No problems.
843, he said.
What?
843 miles, totally. 892 if you add the mileage off the motorway.
That was.... Very precise..
Thanks.
You never complained, I said.
Pardon?
About me not offering to fix those scratches, I should have made an effort, at least..
Oh that. That's OK.
I wish you would be a bit more human, you know, show some anger.
Human? That's rich, coming from you.
Oooh! Some character at last, I teased.
Well, you asked for it didn't you?
I certainly did, I agreed.
You weren't entirely lacking in affection, he said. There was an embarrassing pause, like it always happens when two blokes talk about emotions.
After a while, I said, weren't?
For a moment he looked puzzled, then he said. Oh, you mean the past tense...
Yes, I said, a little uneasily
He sighed, look, I know.
Know?
I can read your thoughts, remember?
I am sorry, I said, miserably.
I slipped own a gear, missed the bite and the gears crashed.
Ouch! He said. We both laughed.
Don't feel bad, I understand perfectly. He said. Thanks for taking trouble to let me know.
You know, I said, again, I wish you wouldn't be so saintly about this.
Would you rather I threw a hissy fit, and broke down now? We both smiled.
Silence followed, with me concentrating on finding a gap in the traffic to drive across.
After a while, he asked, a bit hesitatingly, When?
Today, I said. He nodded.
What are you getting, um..in exchange?
A CRV Honda I said, trying hard to keep the excitement out of my voice.
Ah... An upgrade.
Yes, I said, trying not to look at him.
He fell silent again and didn't say a word. I reached home, showered and got back in to drive to the garage with junior in tow. We drove in silence and reached the garage. I switched off, and looked around the glove compartment to see if I had left anything back. It was empty. Check the boot, he reminded. His voice made me start. I checked, that was empty too. I sat down, one last time in the driver seat and looked through the windscreen. I held the steering wheel, and let my elbow rest in the dent on the arm rest. It fitted perfectly.
I stepped out, closed the door shut and hurried after junior into the garage. The Salesman talked and pointed out the features of the new car, and junior listened in rapt attention. Demonstration done, he handed me the keys, shook my hand and stepped back. I sat in, and drove on, surrounded by gleaming dials, comfortable in my upholstered seat. There was no dent in the arm rest, and the gears fell in smoothly.
Rest in peace, Honda Civic. old, dented, scratched. Never forgotten.
